One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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