isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
