is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
