How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
