So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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