got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize