Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.