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• (678): View more from Georgia

  That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.

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• (831): View more from California

  Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777

  (323): View more from California

  Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)

  (831): View more from California

  Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.

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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea

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  27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst

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• (216): View more from Ohio

  She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.

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• (914): View more from New York

  Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right

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• (514): View more from Quebec

  He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet

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  These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine

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• (812): View more from Indiana

  There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with

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• (931): View more from Tennessee

  THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING

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• (315): View more from New York

  So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.

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• (212): View more from New York

  Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.

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