I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
