Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(502): View more from Kentucky

everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person

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(502): everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person http://tfl.nu/7xqj

Replies (37) Good night (1058) Bad night (2292)
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(925): View more from California

just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.

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(925): just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win. http://tfl.nu/n1uf

Replies (14) Good night (2751) Bad night (991)
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(303): View more from Colorado

Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years

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(303): Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years http://tfl.nu/kvc8

Replies (6) Good night (749) Bad night (2595)
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(541): View more from Oregon

im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.

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(541): im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine. http://tfl.nu/y6yn

Replies (10) Good night (4156) Bad night (751)
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(239): View more from Florida

just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.

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(239): just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried. http://tfl.nu/7tbj

Replies (16) Good night (5510) Bad night (980)
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(813): View more from Florida

The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"

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(813): The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you" http://tfl.nu/44qj

Replies (14) Good night (7297) Bad night (985)
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(918): View more from Oklahoma

See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.

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(918): See, not all bad decisions involve my penis. http://tfl.nu/lbts

Replies (5) Good night (3114) Bad night (939)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.

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(203): it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along. http://tfl.nu/rnt1

Replies (3) Good night (2643) Bad night (743)
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(980): View more from North Carolina

I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?

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(980): I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap? http://tfl.nu/ykcv

Replies (11) Good night (865) Bad night (2409)
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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar

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(403): there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar http://tfl.nu/sljc

Replies (13) Good night (1460) Bad night (600)
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(505): View more from New Mexico

Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.

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(505): Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels. http://tfl.nu/3182

Replies (3) Good night (361) Bad night (878)
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(707): View more from California

I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?

(650): View more from California

There is so much wrong with that sentence

(707): View more from California

Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real

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(707): I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom? (650): There is so much wrong with that sentence (707): Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real http://tfl.nu/wzrt

Replies (5) Good night (1161) Bad night (630)
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(951): View more from California

Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving

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(951): Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving http://tfl.nu/6fed

Replies (5) Good night (462) Bad night (1208)
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(270): View more from Kentucky

How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?

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(270): How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before? http://tfl.nu/mcbw

Replies (2) Good night (1004) Bad night (606)
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(904): View more from Florida

Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.

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(904): Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here. http://tfl.nu/5mlv

Replies (1) Good night (548) Bad night (399)

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