Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight

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  (313): It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight http://tfl.nu/fbzk
  Replies (1) Good night (1416) Bad night (1454)
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  (714): View more from California

  DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"

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  (714): DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job" http://tfl.nu/slki
  Replies (24) Good night (1136) Bad night (3213)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.

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  (253): Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers. http://tfl.nu/3nnr
  Replies (37) Good night (1104) Bad night (5351)
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  (518): View more from New York

  his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"

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  (518): his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed" http://tfl.nu/g8fj
  Replies (22) Good night (2535) Bad night (4856)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"

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  (817): This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here" http://tfl.nu/277o
  Replies (9) Good night (3401) Bad night (1288)
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  (409): View more from Texas

  i wish i coudl send you meat via computure

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  (409): i wish i coudl send you meat via computure http://tfl.nu/wiw5
  Replies (3) Good night (1909) Bad night (721)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.

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  (613): She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place. http://tfl.nu/avtw
  Replies (4) Good night (3229) Bad night (948)
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  (315): View more from New York

  He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.

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  (315): He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any. http://tfl.nu/g0ay
  Replies (5) Good night (535) Bad night (2224)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.

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  (802): you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january. http://tfl.nu/msqr
  Replies (5) Good night (1543) Bad night (452)
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  (985): View more from Louisiana

  I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.

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  (985): I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud. http://tfl.nu/94cv
  Replies (5) Good night (841) Bad night (476)
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  (310): View more from California

  I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle

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  (310): I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle http://tfl.nu/8b8w
  Replies (6) Good night (1245) Bad night (475)
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  (705): View more from Ontario

  Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.

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  (705): Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old. http://tfl.nu/q951
  Replies (7) Good night (272) Bad night (776)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.

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  (918): I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated. http://tfl.nu/rg2y
  Replies (2) Good night (856) Bad night (301)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up

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  (248): I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up http://tfl.nu/z2m0
  Replies (2) Good night (492) Bad night (292)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.

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  (978): I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping. http://tfl.nu/amws
  Replies (0) Good night (341) Bad night (171)

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