Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize