Dude my mom stole all your condoms
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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