She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
we should paint friendship bongs
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize