OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i already hear my dad disowning me
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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