the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
