you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
i dont even know how to be here
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Success! We fucked roommates!
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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