I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
