Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
