New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Help. Why am I so naked?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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