yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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