i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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