Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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