Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
