You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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