Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
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You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
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I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Couch. On fire.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
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