Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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