I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
