Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
