could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
