I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Sex in the backyard? Check.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
