OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
