you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
