I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
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