I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
