I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
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