Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
