Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is that a dick in a sweater?
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize