either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
