Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Randomize
