Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
