your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
