I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
