Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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