She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
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