i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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