I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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