I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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