Swine flu. Run for my life!
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
This gyro tastes like lonliness
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Holy shit dude........stairs
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