To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
