O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
