not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
