She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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