I don't think brook has ever known best
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Randomize
