brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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