I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Randomize
