Michael Bay diarrhea
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
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