Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Randomize
