i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
