4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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