She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Randomize
