If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
