Whod you bang
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I want a musical about memes.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
