he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Randomize
