remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Randomize
