her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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