Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
it was like having sex with a tree stump
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
