friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize