I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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