i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
