And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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