look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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