bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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