Tell her she can't have a vagina
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
