I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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