If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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